Show don't tell - Watermelon Writing

At the student conferences a few weeks back your child talked about using, 'show not tell' in their writing.  We have been working on this in class and we wanted to share some of our work with you.

The first thing we did was taste a watermelon (for some children it was their first time tasting one!)  We then brainstormed lots of juicy adjectives.  This made it so much easier for our writing.

The line was - The watermelon is delicious.  (We wanted to show you the watermelon was delicious rather than tell you it was).

Tayla
Chomping into the fresh, shimmery, peach, pink flesh I taste Summertime.  Juice is cascading down my chin and hands.  My tastebuds celebrated every bite as I crunched into the luscious watermelon flesh. Oh so nice!

Ava
Slowly crunching into the pink, juicy flesh I tasted all the fruity goodness!  Juice quickly dripped down my chin onto my arms, it left a sticky mess.  Everytime I bite it felt like my taste buds were having a party.  Oooh yum, Summer!

Gabby
Crunching into the juicy, pinky flesh I tasted the goodness of Summer!  Juice ran down my chin like a waterfall.  Now I was covered in a sticky mess. Yum!

Sophia
Hungrily crunching on the ripe, peach coloured skin  I tasted Summer.  It tasted like liquid sugar but healthy as runny mess oozed down my chin.  Ah I think to myself, Summer is good.

Maya
Crunching into the beautiful, rosy, red flesh.  Sweet juice poured down my chin and arms like tears, leaving a sticky mess.  My taste buds sparkled, ahhhhh Summer.